Funny Business Friday--You Stink!

Though my work from home attire will probably someday land me on TLC's “What Not to Wear,” I’ve always made a point of dressing and presenting myself in a professional manner for client meetings. It communicates that I take the client, their business and my job seriously.

So it was with this commitment to professionalism that I approached one such meeting with a particularly “earthy” client a few years ago, even though I knew their apparel might be something less than Armani business casual. They were literally ditch diggers, hauling in heavy equipment to bore trenches for underground cable, lines, pipes and more. Not folks that one would assume would be particularly delicate in their sensibilities.

I joined the agency team (with whom I was working at the time) for the meeting in the expansive, airy conference room. Upon their arrival, the clients shuffled in, two men and a woman who, with all due respect, looked well-suited for their professions. The woman took five steps into the room, stopped dead in her tracks and announced in a snarky, holding-my-nose-I-smell-horse-turds-voice, “I CANNOT stay in here. I’ll DIE!”

She then promptly turned on her heel and stormed out. The agency director hurriedly followed her.

Her co-workers shifted uncomfortably.

“Is she okay?” I asked.

They cleared their throats, “Sure,” one of them said. “She’s just…sensitive.”

Several moments of awkward silence passed until the agency director returned. He dialed a number on the conference phone at the center of the table, switched on the speaker and the woman’s voice answered. The meeting commenced with her disembodied voice contributing from somewhere in the bowels of the agency.

When the meeting ended, I literally ran into her in the hallway.

“Are you okay?” I asked, genuinely concerned.

“Sure,” she responded. “As long as I steer clear of you.” Then she stormed off.

The agency director phoned me later that afternoon, explaining that the client had “an extreme sensitivity to certain aromas, perfumes and the like.”

Now I’ve never been one to marinate in flowery scents, and I DO bathe on a regular basis, so I couldn’t fathom how this woman could have been so violently affected by my “aroma.” The only thing I’d done that morning before arriving at the agency was to use a small amount of lightly scented hand lotion. And while I don’t discount some folk’s sensitivity, her rude behavior made me wish wholeheartedly that I’d indulged in a garlic/onion pizza and Cuban cigar right before attending our meeting.

Have you ever encountered a rude client or business associate? If so, how did you respond?

Double Up and Double Your Business !

If you Google “partners,” you’ll get quite a lengthy list…Batman and Robin, Barnes & Noble, Nancy Kerrigan & Tonya Harding (since when does setting up your rival for a good knee clubbing qualify as partnership?)

The term “partner” elicits images of shared risk along with shared benefits. But if you’re a freelancer or solo entrepreneur just launching your biz, bringing on a partner in the traditional sense may not be in the cards right now…if ever.

HOWEVER, you can still “partner” with other pros and actually double your business in the process.

But I Don’t WANT a Partner

Now I’ve never been one who thrived on the buddy system. When I was an 8-year-old Girl Scout my “buddy” accidently separated from me in the woods (aka, ditched me). Since then I’ve found it incredibly difficult to depend on others. Like many entrepreneurs in general and writers in particular, I LIKE working alone. Sure, I have to take on all the responsibility…but I also get all the accolades (not to mention all the money).

That being said, I’m smart enough to know that there are times I have to burst out of my narcissistic bubble and cast about for a partner. And truth be told, it’s worked out well.

Which brings us to a definition, because by defining this other person, this fellow participant, I can clearly establish boundaries about expectations, responsibilities and so on. And so:

Partner—Another person with whom I work to achieve a common goal.

Eh. That seems right, but something’s missing.

Perhaps “accomplice” might be more apropos…but that dredges up images of fingerprinting and police lineups and things I just don’t want to go into right here and now.

In the end, when I say “partner” I mean the verb, not the noun.

For example, I “partner” with quite a few graphic and web designers, both individual freelancers and big marketing firms. And it really works out well.

There’s no money exchanged between us; no wrangling over a percentage of the profits, referral fees or scorecards kept on who owes who. It’s all strictly quid pro quo.

If one of us has a client with whom we’re working on a project and said client is searching for the service that the other one provides, we make a referral.

I know. It’s not quantum physics. So why am I taking up space and wasting your time with something so obvious?

Because, if you do it right and if you do it often, you can more than double your business.

How the Buddy System Doubled My Business

When I began freelancing thirteen years ago, I had a small stable of steady clients for which I was grateful, but it wasn’t nearly enough to keep me busy full time, let alone keep me in caviar and champagne. I really struggled to find new business.

Then I got a call from a designer I’d recently met. One of her clients had a need for a writer, would I consider helping her out? I jumped at the chance.

It was then I realized that there must be hundreds (thousands?) of designers in the same position as my friend. After all, we were in the same industry targeting the same market, but there were just some things (like web content, brochure copy, ad headlines and more) that she just did not provide. Why let those clients go looking elsewhere for a copywriter, when she knew a perfectly good one? (Ahem…that would be me.)

From that day forward, I added designers and design and marketing firms to my list of contacts. After approaching several of them, I was delighted to find that my business doubled in just a matter of a few short months.

Five Steps to Making Partnership Work for You

Finding partners is not as difficult as you might think.

1. Take some time to reflect on businesses that complement your own. Who else might be approaching the same client base as you? For example, if you’re a landscape designer, local nurseries might be willing to send referrals your way. If you’re an interior designer who understands the importance of “home staging,” why not give some local realtors a call? If you’re a handyman, the neighborhood hardware store might just be willing to hand out your business card.
2. Approach your potential partner with a proposition that will benefit you both, e.g. an agreement that you’ll pass on one another’s business card to potential clients or a reciprocal link on each others websites.
3. Keep in steady contact with your partner via emails or an occasional phone call in order to build a relationship. Bring them some bagels some morning or take them to lunch some afternoon. (Most folks are more willing to refer a friend they know, than a total stranger.)
4. Consider exchanging products or services with your new partner. In this way they can experience the quality of what you provide and know how you work, enabling them to recommend you to their clients based on their first-hand experience.
5. Make sure you clearly define the parameters of your business relationship. Do you want to be exclusive, meaning you’ll only refer potential business to them and vice versa? Do you want to offer one another a small “finder’s fee” or even a percentage of fees for every referral? Will you need a contract outlining your agreement or will a handshake do?

A new partner or two may be just the thing you need to really boost your business. After all, where would Batman have been if Robin hadn’t been there climbing the outside of buildings right behind him (and potentially cushioning the fall if the rope broke?)

Can you think of a partnership opportunity that might boost your biz?

Birds of a feather…partner with similar solopreneurs who will refer you to their clients.
Photo Credit: Liz Noffsinger,
http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=481

How to Clear Up the Confusion

As a native Midwesterner, I was brought up speaking what's often called "Fargo-speak."

In my sheltered Minn-ie-SODA neighborhood, "Wal, ya no"was the preamble to every thought, and "yah" and "shure" liberally punctuated the end of sentences like periods.

So it was with great confusion that as a teen working atMcDonalds one summer evening in 1976, I made the acquaintance of a genuine Cajun-speaking customer.

"Yew be shure nuf perty lil gerl," he drawled, the words droppingout his mouth like slurry.

"Pardon?" I asked.

"Eye say yew, yew be shure nuf perty, lil gerl," he repeated.

"Excuse me?"

"Waz wrong wit chew? Yew hawd no hee-in or sumpin?" he snarled, irritated.

Scarlet-cheeked, I called my manager up to the front counter to interpret for me. It was humiliating to realize that as a relatively intelligent young woman, I was unable to understand someone who was speaking my native tongue, albeit sloppily...but still.

Sometimes business-speak can sound like that, especially if your particular business is not marketing or advertising, but something completely foreign to those industries, like landscaping, window washing, metal sculpting or scrapbooking.

Someone talking to you about "frequency" or "touch", "SEO" or "landing page conversions" can sound just like my Cajun man—"Waz wrong witchew? Yew hawd no hee-in or sumpin?"

What terminology confuses you? What marketing-speak have you heard, but have been too embarrassed to ask someone to define? Now's your chance. Send on your questions and I'll post a response that will help cut through the slurry and clear things up!

Photo Credit: Simon Howden http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=404

Funny Business Friday--Reply All?

Business is funny. So is technology. When the two collide, there's often great opportunity for hilarity. Also humiliation. I've experienced more than my fair share of both.

Take today for example.

I'd intended to write about funny moments that have occurred in the course of operating my business. Apparently, this was a call to the universe to create some fresh material.

You see, I've received some nice messages from fans of this new page, to which I've responded. Now those who know me realize that I have a tendency toward, shall we say, exaggeration.

And so, my answer to these kind messages contained my typical brand of hyperbole, with a dash of snarkiness thrown in. (I know. It's all part of my enduring charm.)

Then a friend sent me a message. "You do realize that everything you write on here is being sent to every one of your fans, don't you?"

Whoops.

First, if you received these emails, I apologize. Second, like everyone else, I'm seeing the effects of this economy. However, I am currently not donating plasma or cashing in recycling to make ends meet.

Email blunders...who hasn't made one?

Fortunately, there's comfort in the company we keep. According to a poll conducted by The Creative Group in 2009, 78% of ad and marketing execs admitted to sending an e-mail by mistake, with embarrassing and sometimes serious consequences.

After Googling "email blunders" (which netted 1.5 million results), I have to say that I'm not quite as embarrassed as I was earlier. The following example was a definite stand-out:

"Headmaster Patrick Hazlewood and his school's bursar BarryWorth jointly received an emailed complaint from local pensioner, Mary Kelly, about some misbehavior by their pupils. 'Tell her to get stuffed,' typed Hazlewood, thinking his response was only going to his colleague. Alas, he hit 'ReplyAll.'" (http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Sky-News-Archive/Article/20080641272091)

Whoops.

Now it's your turn. What's the funniest (or most embarrassing) email blunder you've made? (You can even tell me about a techno blunder made by "a friend" if you prefer.)

Have a funny Friday, and a great weekend!

Photo Credit: Salvatore Vuono
http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=659

Taking Your Biz to Infinity and Beyond...

Mega-hit "Toy Story 3" is the highest grossing animated film in history, now approaching the $1 billion mark. But did you know that Pixar's treasure trove of full-length animated films (Toy Story 1 & 2, A Bug's Life, Monster's Inc., Finding Nemo, et al) almost didn't get made?

Disney nearly pulled the plug on the first "Toy Story" movie because they thought the storyline stunk. Frantic revisions on the part of the Pixar team turned it into a cultural phenom, and the rest of course, is history. Just something to remember when you're facing the inevitable challenges that go hand in hand with your own business venture.

Photo credit: renjith krishnan's:
http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=721

Make Your Small Biz Stand Out in a Big Way!

Our neighbors recently chose to replace the existing muddy brown cedar siding on their house with a taupe-colored vinyl. This made it the 2000th house in our neighborhood to be blanketed in one of the following electric colors--cream, ecru, sand, tan, fawn, mushroom, camel, beige or buff. The capacity for mediocrity here is dazzling.

Now don’t get me wrong. I haven’t got it in for earth tones. It’s just that when there’s a whole spectrum of colors from which to choose, why do people deliberately pick one that so clearly defines them as having all the zing of oatmeal?

Because everyone else is doing it, that’s why.

So what does any of this have to do with marketing a small business? Plenty.

Mom was Right. You Really ARE Special.

As a small business owner, you are a far cry from mediocre.

To be a solopreneur requires creativity, courage, vision, endurance, commitment, discipline and a lot of other heavy-duty adjectives that sound like something you’d place in want ad for a super hero.

And because you’re unique, talented and a visionary, shouldn’t your marketing be as well?

But alas, as we all know (despite our mother’s insistence to the contrary) we’re not really geniuses when it comes to EVERYTHING.

And unless the dethroned Prince of Nairobi really has transferred the millions he’s promised into your bank account, you’re probably looking for ways to market your small business on a shoe string.

What Makes Me Think I’m So Smart?

Thirteen years ago I started up my own little business venture doing the only thing I’ve ever really known how to do—write. I’d spent the seventeen years preceding that working for various agencies as a copywriter, pounding out ad copy for catalog companies, educational publishers, and credit card firms.

I know. Exciting stuff.

Then, in 1997, I decided to take control of my own life and embrace the freedom and creative challenge of freelancing on my own.

I switched on my computer, scooched my chair up to my desk…and waited.

[Insert the sound of crickets here.]

Of course, it wasn’t quite that simple. I had to market, e.g. buy ad space, make cold calls (ugh), network, mail out brochures, print up business cards, design a website, yada, yada, yada.

And it STILL wasn’t easy.

Pay Attention! Here Comes the Big Reveal...

What I wish I’d had (and what I should have sought) was a mentor--someone who’d cleared the path and hacked away at the underbrush of business on his or her own already.

Instead, I lumbered ahead on my own. And I learned a ton—from mistakes, from blunders, from embarrassing screw ups, and finally, from successes.

And then I began meeting other solopreneurs. And they started asking me questions: Should I spend money on direct mail? How do I even begin to put up a website? Do cold calls really work? Should I send out a newsletter? How can I get more business? Who invented cheese?

With the exception of that last question, it seems that I've managed to discover some answers. And that’s what brings us here today.

As a fellow solopreneur and small business owner, I want you to know the way and know how to do your own marketing, or at the very least, to be informed enough to know what to expect when you hire someone else to do it for you.

I hope you’ll sound off in the days ahead, tell me what you think, tell me what you want to know, tell me I’m full of crap…I don’t care. Just tell me. Let’s get the marketing portion of your biz up and running…and then let’s watch your business grow.

Questions? Email me at wayhownow@aol.com
Want more info on my writing and marketing services? Email me at writeeffct@aol.com
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